Happy birthday to me!

I've had some really really great birthdays in my short lifetime. Number 17 was spent with my entire family and some really great friends in Maui. My 21st birthday was on a cruise in the Caribbean with a lobster dinner and pristine beaches on a private island. I celebrated my 24th birthday in Puerto Vallarta by bungee jumping over the ocean with my lil bro. Good stuff. Now, don't think I'm that special (I am that special, though) that my parents would plan all these events because of my birthday.. It just happens that our awesome vacations fall around Thanksgiving, which in turn means my birthday. You will definitely never hear me complain about it.

This year, for my 27th birthday (um.. is it weird that I still feel 19?), I was on an island called Koh Samui, off the eastern coast of Thailand. Wait, it gets better. Hbf upgraded our lodging to a place on the beach, with a pool and air conditioning! It MUST be my birthday.. We enjoyed our delicious breakfast buffet and decided to rent jet skis for 30 minutes. Even if I tried, I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face while riding the jet ski. I felt like I was full throttle the whole time and desperately hanging on with my arms and legs. Sometimes I felt like I would catch 10 feet of air off a wave, but I'm sure I didn't even make it entirely out of the water. I need to get me one of those..

Later, after we had eaten a birthday lunch at what we affectionately called 'cheap street', massages were in order to ease our stiffness from hanging on to the jet skis for dear life. Since there are massage parlors on every corner, we had to have some criterion do decide which one to go to. At every place, the masseuses hang around outside their door and taunt you by saying 'maassaaaaaaage?' The longer they hold their aaaaaaaage, the better you know they are. So, we waited for one of the ladies to really draw it out and we were not disappointed. 'Maassaaaaaaaaaaaage?' Yes, please.

Hbf swears by the Thai massage, so I decided to try it (as opposed to the oil massage). Two little thai girls led us upstairs to beds where we laid on our stomachs next to each other. Hbf immediately closed his eyes and relaxed, but I was a bit tense, not knowing what was going on. For such a lil lady, she had VERY strong hands. But it's not like she only used her hands.. she used her elbows, arms, knees and even her feet. At one point she was standing on the back of my thighs with my calves intertwined with hers, working her elbows in my back. It felt good though.. I had to learn to relax and not fight it. Otherwise I think I would have broken something.. Or rather, she would have broken something of mine. As she wrapped my legs around her and worked on my hips and thighs, I thought (and not for the first time) that maybe I shouldn't have worn a skirt. She has prolly seen a lot worse though, so I didn't let it bother me too much. My eyes were closed most of the time so I didn't get to see what treatment Hbf was getting. At one point both the girls got behind us at the same time and pushed us over to touch our toes, which I haven't done in quite a while. I think a whimper may have escaped my lips, which only made the thai girls giggle. After it was all done, I actually felt pretty good. It was the roughest massage I had ever gotten, but it also may have been one of the best. Happy birthday to me!

Boys are strange

There's a certain tourist 'strip' in Koh Samui called Chaweng Beach. There's shopping, eating, more shopping and more eating. Also, tourist centers on every corner to book any trip you could possibly think of. As Hbf and I wandered the strip on our second night, we heard a reedy, hypnotic tune playing far away, but coming closer. It instantly gave me a visual of the man with a clarinet coaxing the cobra snake out of a wicker basket.. Ya get me? As the music grew nearer, we heard a man announcing a Thai Boxing match for Friday night. It went like this:
Announcer - Tomorrow night! TOMORROW NIGHT! A super fight. The GREATEST fight! Muay Thai Champion. Get to seat earlier. Get to seat EARLIER.

All the while that music was playing.. It worked perfectly on us and we bought our tickets to the match the next day. (We heard that announcement no less than 50 times by the time the match was going to start. They drive the strip all day and all night and even have a boat at the beach drive along and announce the fight all day. You can't get away from it!)

The cab was coming to pick us up at 9 so we decided to get some food right before to make sure we didn't have to buy anything at the ring. When we got back to our hotel at 8:50, the taxi was already there, waiting for us with other people in the car who were also going to the fight. I told Hbf to go grab our receipt from our room so we could turn it in for tickets at the stadium. Hbf takes off running towards our room and suddenly, everyone starts screaming.

The guard dog, a large rottweiler, didn't like Hbf running past his territory so he takes off after him. The owner and all the massage ladies who wait outside all day start yelling, either for the dog to stop or for Hbf to stop running, I couldn't understand which. Hbf stops though, thankfully, and just as thankfully, so does the rottweiler. He was prolly within 4 feet of catching him but luckily, everyone stopped in time. Hbf continues his trek to our room more slowly, and we were able to make it to the fight on time. He maintains that he totally could have handled the dog had it gotten to him.. He would have poked him in the eyes or something. Mmm hmm..

Sooo, we go to the fight, which was awesome and very entertaining. But that's not where all the action was. The bathroom at the stadium was a shared bathroom, meaning both boys and girls used it. It's large, with prolly 7 stalls for girls and 5 urinals for the guys. I went first, and there were 2 tough guys waiting at the opening (there wasn't really a door) which I thought were the bouncers. You know, if anything sketchy went down in the bathroom between patrons, they were there to stop it. Well, I did my business and had no problems with anyone, so I was happy.

Later, Hbf went to the bathroom and came back rolling his shoulders in circles and stretching his neck side to side. I asked him if he was ok and he said 'Yeah! I actually feel amazing.' Apparently, while finishing up at the urinal, one of the bouncers came and put a warm towel on his neck. I was shocked and asked him if he turned around and punched the guy in the face. Who touches you when you are going to the bathroom? The answer should be no one. Hbf said no... he thought it was weird, but it actually felt nice. I laughed and laughed, but that wasn't the end of his bathroom experience. While he was washing his hands, the other bouncer came behind him and cracked his back a couple of different ways, along with his neck. Now, this wouldn't be weird I guess, except we were at a boxing match and he was getting this adjustment in a bathroom! AAAAAND, Hbf didn't think it was that weird! He said it was one of the best chiropractic adjustments he had gotten and he felt really really great now. I was literally speechless. Even after all this time, he still says it wasn't that weird.. *sigh*

S to the C to the U to the B to the A

I am officially a scuba diver. I can sink all the way down to 18 meters (I think?) and watch the little fishies swim in their coral houses. I was lucky enough to get a class where it was just me and the instructor, Bank (Bang? No, Bank.. I think) who is a Thai guy who had a silly british accent. Silly to me because it did not go with his face and he would say things like knickers and mawwwsk. Anyways, the first day was pretty uneventful, filled with some videos and a swimming test. On the second day, I actually got to put the gear on and go down a couple of meters. We would do drills while underwater, like "accidentally" losing my breathing apparatus so I could learn how to calmly find it again without panicking. Most of the drills had to do with what to do when something bad happens. Other than that, scuba is just breathing and idly swimming while looking at all the beautiful things around you.

On my last day, Hbf joined us for 2 boat dives off a small island near Phuket. It was really fun having him along and he got to know my limits with my instructor there.

We took a boat to a touristy island called Koh Phi Phi and decided to do a dive there. We saw lots of turtles and a shark.. It's like this whole other world that is so colorful and vibrant. I'm really happy I get to see it now.. At least once in a while. Diving can be spendy but I know we'll get a couple in before we make the trip home.

Can I just say I hate AT&T? They find every excuse to squeeze money out of you, even though they give you assurances that you won't have to pay anything.. It's lies. Anything any cell phone company ever tells anyone is a lie. I wish I could leave AT&T but I love my iPhone too much. Dang it.

A letter to my bug repellent

Dear REPEL bug repellent,

I thought you were my best friend. I thought you always had my back in times of crisis. I took you on this trip because you were the strongest bug repellent I could find and I had no doubts that you would do the one specific job you were made for. We've had some good times.. Rice patties, stone forests, bike rides and even beaches. I never forgot to put you on before I left the house and I would even reapply when I got home, in case some blood sucking mosquito followed me into the room in hopes of a delicious feast while I was sleeping. Our room constantly smelled of bug spray but none of it matters since you were doing such a good job. Hbf would cough and spit and complain how his eyes and lungs burned, but I would just point to my unblemished skin and say it was worth it. Yesterday, everything changed.

We decided to take a walk to the other side of the island and it just so happened we had to hike through what I'm pretty sure is called Mosquito City. I was confident, though. You contain 100% DEET, which I didn't even think was possible. If a mosquito wanted to come near my skin, he would surely melt on contact. When we got to Mosquito City, I was shocked to see the size of these skeeters! They were the size of large flies and had obviously eaten well. There were so many, too! We tried to keep the pace brisk, but I started feeling them getting to my skin. I looked down and there was actually one on my leg! I slapped it in anger but my anger was not at the mosquito. No.. It was at you, REPEL. 100% DEET you say? I say balderdash.

Those mosquitoes were the ultimate test, and you failed. When I saw the first mosquito get through, I panicked. But, I quickly remembered that I had brought you with me and sweet redemption could be yours! I hurredly started to reapply but you were having no effect! No effect! Finally I just started running through the forest to make it to safety, the beach. When I got there, the bites were already starting to swell and itch. The final count was 10 mosquito bites, some so big they have swelled up my whole ankle. I must say I am severely disappointed in your performance. Even as I type this I want to claw my skin off of my legs to stop the itching.

The only thing that saved me yesterday was the amazing sunset I watched while swimming in the warm ocean with my boyfriend. If not for that.. I surely would have curled into a little ball and wept.

Sincerely Dissatisfied,

Booty

I think the devil drives a bus

Ok, the bus to Phuket was maaaaybe one of the worst rides I have ever been on. We were told that it was about a 15 hour bus ride that leaves at 6:00 pm and gets there at 9:00 am the next day. Cool with me. So we show up at the our departure destination at 5:50 pm and wait. And wait. Finally a little Thai lady comes and tells us to follow her. She is in a very short skirt and gets lots of cat calls as we navigate through busy streets to the street where the bus will pick us up. 30 minutes later, we finally make it on the bus and it leaves a little before 7:00 pm. Hbf and I realize we left our water but we are told we will be stopping in a bit at a place where we can buy water. Sweet. 2 horrible movies later (blood diamond and max payne.. two feel good movies that just warm your heart), we haven't stopped and i'm considering stealing our neighbor's water bottle because I'm pretty sure I'm dying of thirst. As Hbf and I started to devise a plan, the bus finally stopped for "dinner" (it's 11:00 pm). we rush off and are able to buy bottles of water that we instantly drain. We buy 2 more for the trip.

After we get back on the bus, we decide to take some Tylenol PM to make the trip a little more comfortable. Hbf had mentioned a particularly uncomfortable overnight bus ride he had done before, where he got no sleep. Well, no problem here.. I've got pills. We take our pills and fall blissfully asleep, only to be woken up at 3:00 am. They turn on all the lights and some people start to get off. There's momentary drug-induced confusion and panic, but we realize we couldn't possibly be to Phuket yet and go back to our comas.

We are then awakened at 6:00 am and everyone is told to get off the bus. I'm so drowsy I can hardly move, but we get off the bus and we are told we are going to get on a different bus. He asks for our ticket and we give it to him. 30 minutes later, I'm a little more awake but no bus has come for us. Suddenly, the thai man who seems to be in charge notices we have no sticker that tells him where we are going. He asks us for our ticket. We tell him we already gave it to him. He says no, he doesn't have our ticket, otherwise we would have a sticker. Hbf tells him he gave the ticket to him as we got off the bus. The thai man still says no. We ask to see all the tickets, so he gets them out. We point out our ticket and he says no, that's not our ticket. He thinks that ticket came from someone else. I start yelling. I didn't want to, but it's waaaay to early to be awake and obviously we gave him the ticket. Turns out another couple had not given them their ticket and he had given them our stickers. His bad. Yes.. His very bad. 7:00 am rolls around and finally a little covered pick up truck with bench seats in the back picks us up. At first I thought we would be riding in that for the rest of the time, but he was just taking us to the next bus. He drops us off at a little cafe/warehouse so we can wait for the next bus. Hooray, more waiting.
Then, it starts POURING down rain. Luckily we were inside, but the cockroaches wanted to be inside too. They start streaming in to the place and I can't help but yelling and pulling my feet up so they don't touch me. Finally our bus comes and we have to wade out in ankle deep puddles to get on the bus. Good times. By this time it's like 7:30 am and we are thinking we will get to Phuket by 9:00 am. At 2 pm, we finally made it to the Phuket town, but we still needed to go to the beach. That took time.. 2 hours. At 4, we found a place. Thank goodness this place is a little slice of heaven because I wouldn't accept anything less.

The ocean is warm and crystal clear and the beaches are clean and full or soft, white sand. The next day I started my scuba certification and finished today. More on that later. I'm hoping tomorrow I can enjoy the beach and sun.

Flesh eating fish

I have been shopping like a mad woman. I usually hate shopping but when the mood strikes, it has a hold on me until i get my fill. Luckily, I am on Khao San Road in Bangkok, where everything is like a dollar. I sold my coat for 3 dollars to get rid of some weight in my bag and to make room for my new wardrobe. I know some of you are balking at the piddly 3 dollars I got. But, you have to remember that I only bought it for about 16 bucks, and the chances I'll need it in the trip are slim to none. So, I was either gonna give it to some bum, or sell it for 3 dollars. With my money from the coat and a little extra, I bought 2 tank tops and a skirt. I think it was a fair deal.

They have everything here on Khao San Road, and did I mention it's cheap? Street food is less than a dollar and a nice meal at a restaurant isn't much more. I have actually taken to the spring rolls they sell on the street. I'm told you can find them anywhere, so that is good news for me. massages are less than 6 bucks for an hour and pedicures are like 3 bucks. This is my kind of place!

Hbf and I found a spa that had those "fish" foot massages, aka, the fish eat the dead skin off your feet. Yum. We couldn't resist though! We put our feet in the tank and the fish flocked to eat our toes. At first we were both screaming because it's like 100 itty bitty pieces of sand paper brushing against your heels, toes, ankles and even the bottoms of your feet. Mine are suuuuper sensitive and it took all the strength I had to keep my feet in. I was getting goosebumps from the sheer effort of not running away. After awhile though, you get used to the sensation and it doesn't tickle as much. Hbf has nasty, dry feet so of course he had a whole school of fish around him. You could barely see where his feet were in the beginning. We stayed in about 20 minutes and my feet felt deliciously soft and refreshed. Hbf even commented that his feet felt a lot smoother and softer. Success! It was definitely a fun and unique experience for both of us.

Tonight we are headed to Phuket. It's on the west coast of Thailand and has better weather right now than the east coast. We will prolly be spending at least a week around that area so maybe I can get a tan! Stop laughing.

I guess that's what I get for gambling

We took Hong Kong by storm! And by that I mean Hbf got food poisoning and puked in the train sink (the bathrooms were locked), the train station and our room in Hong Kong. He rallied the next day though and we were able to make it to Hong Kong Island for some spectacular views and a little shopping. We even went to a movie, Looking for Eric. Pretty entertaining, and it was in English! Hallelujah!

El Dub had asked us to shop around for an awesome Rolex (by awesome I mean fake), so we started to do our research. We walked into a real Rolex store and instantly I felt out of place. The worker bees were wearing suits and I was wearing my Utah State basketball shorts and a camouflage hat that has a skull on it. But, we had a mission. We browsed around, asking questions like, "how many carats are these diamonds?" and "does this watch come in rose gold?". I even got them to take 2 out of the glass case so I could examine them up close. It turns out they were each worth $25,000. Whoa. I actually held $50,000 in my hand. Anyways, we tried to memorize the markings and engravings so we could get the best for El Dub. Our research paid off and we got him a really nice one with diamonds. It looks real! I swear!

After Hong Kong, we took a turbo jet to Macau, the Las Vegas of the East. Pfffft. No. Macau has casinos, yes. But the spirit of Las Vegas is missing. Where are all the people in the streets, drinking? Where are all the flashing lights so bright they give you a seizure? The casinos are all spread out, and separated on different floors. They were also very subdued and the slot machines were so quiet that I could hardly hear when I won money. A little disappointing. We had a hard time finding a craps table and when we did, I lost all my money in about 10 minutes. Boo. Ok maybe my impression of Macau was tainted by my gambling experience, but there is definitely something lacking in Macau and I don't think it can be compared to Las Vegas at all. 'Nough said.

We've left China now and we are in Bangkok. My first impression is.. um.. holy crap. This place is crazy. But, everything is cheap and we are loading up on supplies before heading to the coast so I can start my SCUBA certification. I even tried PadThai off the street and I haven't died yet. It was actually pretty good. I am also finding english is pretty well known around here, at least in Bangkok. It's definitely a nice change from no one understanding what you are trying to say. So far, so good.