Food Stuffs

I have been putting off writing a blog for awhile now, I know.  And now that I´m here, I am still dragging my feet on writing.  Mostly because I have to pause every 5 seconds to karate chop the 80 flies that are buzzing around this place.  Does no one around here care about all the flies?!!?  HH is sitting next to me, muttering about all the flies, occasionally spazzing out with his fly anger.  Hey man, I feel ya.  It´s not that they bite or sting, they are just freaking annoying.  And they also breed in garbage and poop, so there´s that. 

Ok we actually changed internet cafes, and this one has significantly less flies, so I can get on with my life.  Let´s talk about food.  As most of you know, I am a picky eater.  On our last trip to Asia, I dropped about 12 pounds in the first 6 weeks in China.  My family had a money pool on how many weeks I would last before I either starved or came home.  But!  I persevered, I ate butter cookies and HH dragged me around since I had no energy, and I made it to Thailand where I ate pad thai til I pooped only noodles.  (If you can´t handle poo jokes get out now!)  This time around, I really didn´t know what to expect.  I didn´t want to know what to expect.  I just expected to be slightly hungry all the time for the 2 months we travel.  Lo and behold, the food has been edible!  We found sushi, various buffets, corn flakes and even pizza here in South America.  They love their pizza.  I don´t love their pizza, but they love their pizza. 

There have been a few meals that I would rather forget.  HH took me to a buffet in Salta, Argentina.  At first glance, it looked ok.  But as I grabbed my plate and looked for things I would want to try, I cam up empty.  Everything looked like it had been sitting there no less than a year.  Most of the food left was just the dregs, and the staff didn´t look too keen on replacing anything.  HH was happy as a clam, taking a bit of everything, exclaiming how good it all was.  Bull shiiiiiiiii..  you know.  I went to the bathroom, which had the ripe smell of #1 AND #2, so I am almost left screaming.  When I went to wash my hands, there was no soap.  Sooooo, everyone who went to the bathroom at this place has pee and poo on their hands and then they proceed to go eat and touch everything in the buffet.  What an appetizing thought.  The last straw was when a couple of cockroaches scrambled across the floor in my direction.  I immediately got up and stared HH down until he asked if I wanted to leave.  Dis. Gust. Ing.  On top of all that it wasn´t even cheap.  I think I ate 3 bites for 10 bucks. 

We are up in the Andes mountains now, and HH is loving the local cuisine.  Unfortunately, the local cuisine consists of adorable animals like rabbit and llama.  He´s all about the rabbit stew and llama steak.  I try to describe the adorable looking creatures as he shreds the meat and stuffs bites in his mouth, but I have no effect.  I think my descriptions make him like it even more.  My missions now is to find a llama so HH can look it directly in it´s giant, disney-esque eyes.  I know once he sees that he won´t be able to eat them anymore.  Myself, I´m sticking to chicken.  Cuz chickens are ugly.  Oh and ice cream.  I pretty much eat ice cream twice a day.

The Bug Blog

We've been traveling at breakneck speed.  I haven't had a moment to sit still and blog..  until now.  Apparently things in Buenos Aires don't get going until at least midnight, and HH says I can't nap the whoooole time, so here I am.  I am going to blog about things that happened in Brazil, even thought we've moved on to Argentina.  For details, go read HH's blog at mytb.org/gabanie

Spoiler alert: things are awesome.

But let's talk about things that are not awesome.  Bugs.  As some of you may know, I am terrified of bugs.  I'm not really discriminating either.  I pretty much hate all bugs.  I guess spiders terrify me more often, since most of my nightmares seem to be about spiders, but I definitely loathe mostly all bugs.  HH knows this.  He has to deal.  I scream for him if there is a bug in the house, because I need my knight in shining armor to come save me from the deadly ant that has crawled into my tub.  Deadly!

We were on a lovely hike in Floripa, on some cliffs with some greenery, when the trail took a dangerous turn.  It led right into the jungle, with trees and everything!  HH passed through just fine, but as I stepped in to the tunnel of trees, it suddenly got darker.  Then there was hissing, then all of a sudden something flew at me, right at my eye, intent on blinding me with whatever stinger or biting mechanism it had.  I turned around and ran screaming.  HH came back through the tunnel and was like, "Are you coming?"  Hellllll nah I'm not coming.  They can smell my fear and they have my scent in their antennae.  That was the end of that hike.

On another day, we were up on the cliffs (different cliffs of course.  You think I would go back there??) watching dolphins flip and surf the waves.  We had climbed up some rocks to get there, but HH, of course needing more adventure in his life, wanted to go back a different way.  This new way included crawling up another rock to get on some greenery.  i couldn't make the climb myself, so HH went first and decided to pull me up.  I had my hand on the rock and and GIANT red ant bit me!  I screamed (of course) and the shock of it made my eyes water.  I wanted out of there quick, so HH grabbed me and hefted me up.  Only, I didn't make it all the way up.  I sort of fell over onto the ground, which happened to be where the GIANT ants were all hanging out.  I start screaming again and HH helps me up and rips off my coat in case there are ants on it and I'm jumping around, hitting myself to get all the ants off that probably weren't even there.  It took me awhile to settle down after that, because I basically almost died.  I saw hunger in the ants' eyes, they already had a taste of my sweet blood!  I skirted death though, and that was the end of that hike.

One night, we decided to leave the window open a crack because it was hot in our room.  It was seriously like the tiniest of cracks ever.  I went to sleep and had a strange dream, where HH and I were standing on the banks of a very fast moving river.  All of a sudden a guy flies by in the river, drowning and yelling.  aaaAAAaaa  and then he was gone.  I woke up and was thinking that was a strange dream, when all of a sudden I hear that sound again..  aaaAAAaaa  Mosquitos!  Those little suckers were dive bombing my ear.  I wake HH up and convince him we have a problem.  He thinks there are only a couple, but admits he has been buzzed too.  So we turn on the lights.  OMG THERE ARE LIKE 50 MOSQUITOS.  We shut our window and we immediately go into killing mode.  The first one I kill, I kill it by clapping it between my hands.  I open my hands and there's bright red blood on them.  He just fed!  I kill another against the wall; blood smears.  HH is getting the same results.  Bright red blood each time one is killed.  All of these mosquitos just fed!  And we had a really bad feeling about who they had just fed on.  We hunted all of them, and the aftermath was bloody.  Smears of blood on the walls and floors, the killing fields.  We checked our bodies, but we couldn't feel any new bites..  yet.  The next day HH woke up scratching his arms violently.  He has about 20 new bites in a 2 inch radius.  I got away with 3 new bites.  I thank my lucky stars that they chose him over me.  Haha!


Oh and I just turned 30!  Feels good man. 

The Honeymoon Has Started!!

Ok so it's sort of been rough times for the beginning of the trip.  The weather wasn't cooperating and apparently the whole nation of Brazil wanted to vacation where we wanted to vacation since they had a national holiday weekend.  We got stuck in a place we didn't want to be, and had a difficult time booking buses to the place we REALLY wanted to be: Florianopolis.

Well we finally made it, and it is AMAZING.  The weather cleared up as soon as we got here and we basically spent the day exploring beaches and soaking up the sun, which is how a honeymoon should be.  HH and I are having an awesome time!

Florianopolis

But let's get down to business.  I know what you all came here for, so I don't want to keep you waiting.  But one thing I must mention: I am terrified of water snakes.  Snakes in the water are the stuff of nightmares, people.  Moving on..

In a small coastal town called Paraty, it rained.  Since I had strong armed HH into buying us brand new rain jackets for the trip, he insisted on dragging me to a waterfall while it was raining outside to use said jackets.  Sweet revenge, some would say.  I would say poop on you.  Anyways, as we arrived at the waterfall, I saw Brazilians in their bathing suits, like they never take them off or something.  We hiked quickly to the waterfall and saw a huge smooth rock that people were sliding down like a waterslide.  It looked fun, except that it was raining and like 65 degrees outside.  HH and I got weird looks because we were in pants and had coats on, but I gave those squarepants and thong wearers weird looks right back.  Since it was early on our trip and the weather had been less than ideal, I hadn't touched any Brazilian water yet.  In my mind it was warm, maybe too warm on a sunny day.  So I climbed down some rocks to get close enough to the water to touch it.  Just as I reached down, something moved in the water.  @$%##$@ it's a snake!  in the water!  a water snake!  I ran away screaming and HH laughed and got some pictures.  I almost died, I'm pretty sure.  The snake was HUGE and he poked his head out of the water in pursuit of me.  Not today snake, not ever.  I didn't touch any water for 4 days.

On a bus down to São Sebastião, HH and I weren't able to get seats next to each other.  I sat by a nice lady, and across my aisle was her daughter and what looked like the grandmother.  The road was pretty windy (curvy not blowy) and our bus driver was driving like a bat out of hell.  I definitely thought we were going to tip a couple of times.  The girl across the aisle started looking white, then green.  Then all of a sudden the mom and grandma are frantically searching for something.  I wanted to help them but I can't speak portuguese and no one speaks english.  Finally the mom found it: a plastic bag.  She hurredly hands it over the girl who immediately starts puking into the plastic bag.  I never get sick on car rides, I can even read  in the car, but the sound of someone spewing their guts out a foot away from me made me suddenly very nauseous.  I scrambled to get my ipod out, to put my head phones in and turn the volume up as high as possible to drown out the retching.  But still I heard her coughing and yakking into that plastic bag.  When she was finished she tried to hand it to her mother and the bag swayed dangerously towards my face.  Whatever she had for lunch, it was pink.  The mom seemed to tell her to tie it up and put it under her chair, which she did.  As the bus trip wound on, the bus swayed back and forth violently, until the bag o' barf was sliding all over the floor.  The next thing I know we take a sharp right and the bag flies under my seat where my feet are.  I grab everything I can off the floor for fear of it being splattered with puke.  The mom picks up the bag and puts it in her purse.  Hopefully it didn't break or leak in there.  The girl ended up puking a couple more times, and each time the mom would put the new filled bag in her purse.  I couldn't wait to get off that bus.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  We didn't eat a traditional dinner, but we did find a sushi place that was pay by weight.  Yes, an amazing concept that needs to be brought to the states immediately.

Achievement Unlocked: Worst Hotel Value EVER

We're in Paraty, which we almost didn't make it to.  Apparently November 15th is a holiday in Brazil, and everyone likes to go on vacation, especially when there is a weekend involved.  So, when we got to Rio and started to try to book our next leg, we ran into a minor problem: no rooms available.  Anywhere.  HH and I started to sweat a little bit.  We checked neighboring cities.  Nothing.  We started to doubt our traveling strategy.  Is the universe trying to tell us that rolling into a town unannounced and finding a guest house isn't going to work on this trip?  We refused to believe.  Finally, I found a guest house that had a private room available for the 2 nights we wanted.  Except, it was $120.  Per night.  HH balked of course, and I actually did too, but we didn't have many options so we just booked it.

The bus ride was uneventful, except for the old man hacking up mucus, phlegm (sp?) and I'm sure a lung through out the trip.  Hey guess what?  I won't need to eat for awhile due to losing my appetitie, possibly permanently.  There's always an upside.

When we arrived, our host was very nice and spoke english, giving us the low down of the room.  It's the smallest, of course, but it has a big bed and a big shower.  "Hot water?" I asked.  "The hottest."  This gave me hope.  Since one of my piercings has been bothering me, I decided to jump into a hot shower and soak it a little.  I turn on the hot water, and wait.  And wait.  And wait.  The hottest the water ever got is just warm enough not to scream when you get in it.  This is the hottest water in Paraty?  Well shit, I don't think I like this place very much.

Also, since our bathroom shares a wall with the common room, we can hear every conversation, and I'm sure they can hear every tinkle/poopaloop.  Charming.  Add to all this that there's not a proper door, the TV is the size of my ipod and the fridge is so loud I thought we were under attack last night.  I mean, I expect this from the 10 dollar rooms, even 20.  I mean, I've stayed in some terrible rooms.  But the price was right! $120 bucks for a hotel rooms gets you a nice room in Vegas, and this aint no Vegas.  Since the holiday is over today, we are trying to find a new place to stay because I'm pretty sure I only have a limited number of cold showers that I can tolerate.

Ah Yes.. The Traveling Life

I´m gonna start from the beginning, aka Monday, the day before we left.  HH had to work part of the day, so I was left to try to finish the packing and basically stewing in my own thoughts.  Well my thoughts basically consisted of how I wouldn´t be able to cuddle my dogs for 2 months.  Massive streams of tears ensued and I was basically inconsolable for all of Monday.  I cuddled and held Brooklyn while I could, all the while crying my eyes out.  I cried and cried until we left for Los Angeles, and then I cried a little more.  Oh the humanity! Leaving my babies for 2 months!  What kind of mother am I?  But, I know 2 very good people are taking care of them, and I was able to stop crying by the time we got to our hotel in LA.  We said our goodbyes to HH´s parents and made our way to the hotel.

Our flight to Miami was at 6 in the morning and we wanted to get there in plenty of time, so we set the alarm for 3:30 and tried to get some sleep.  As you can imagine, we both tossed and turned, mostly from excitement, but I´m sure we both felt nervous (I know I did) and a little fear of the alarm not going off.  Needless to say, at 3:30 am we were both up and getting ready to make our flight.  Since I had been crying the previous night, my face was so swollen I was sure they wouldn´t let me board since I looked like quasimodo.  HH told me I looked fine, but to keep my glasses on.

At the airport, we didn`t have much hope for first class on our flight to Miami, but that didn´t stop us from trying.  We walked up to the counter, trying to look all adorable and giddy cuz ya know, it´s our honeymoon! and asked if there were any first class seats available.  The unpleasant, spiky haired attendant shut us down with a cold stare and told us we would be in coach.  Ok then, coach it is.

The flight was uneventful, at least for me, because I slept the whole time.  We arrived in Miami and hunkered down to wait 7 hours before our flight to rio took off.  However, the hope of first class to rio kept was warm and cozy.  As the hour neared, we didn´t dare get our hopes up too high lest it be yanked from our grasp and we would have to weep in coach with no hot towel to comfort us.  But alas! our names were called and we were given our golden tickets to first class and boarded the plane, giddy with excitement and elitism.  We sipped champagne and watched the miserable coach people trudge to the back of the plane, and it felt so glorious.  I think HH is elaborating more on what we got on the plane, but it has ruined me forever.  Coach will never be the same.

Rio was..  interesting.  Lush landscape, ghettos, goats and horses grazing next to the highway.  We weren´t there long, but we fit a lot in.  The food.  Hmm..  well so far I´ve had bread and cheese for 5 meals in a row.  For our first meal in rio, we went to a restaurante that didn´t have any english.  Sooo, we went with something that sort of looked familiar: filet mignon parmisiano.  I´m thinking, great! steak! oh how naive am I.  Basically what came out was a super rough cut of beef that was breaded and fried, a piece of ham on top of the ´steak´ and cheese melted on the very stop.  So it was fried meat and meat and cheese.  Wut.  HH thought it was awesome.  I took 2 bites and that was enough for me. Ever since then it´s pretty much been bread and cheese with a couple of other things thrown in there.  Good thing I brought my multivitamin.  At another restaurant HH ordered some other steak dish, and it came with a pile of breadcrumbs and a sausage.  Apparently all the meat here comes with a side of meat.  We weren´t really sure what do with the breadcrumbs, and we don´t know how to ask.  So he tried eating them alone, but they weren´t particularly appetizing.  He tried dipping his sausage in them, but didn´t think that really tasted good.

We are in a town called Paraty for the next couple of days.  Oh and sorry if there are any typos or misspelled words.  I´m not sure how to change the language on the browser so it is basically telling me that every word is misspelled.

Until next time!

Time for another trip!

HBF (hot boy friend) has become HH (hot husband) and it's time for our epic honeymoon!  2 months exploring the beaches and rain forests of South America.  2 months you say!  Yes I do say.  You know how we do.  We had to make this honeymoon long in order to compete with our other trip!  It was almost going to be 3 months, but HH couldn't get the time off.

This trip has a bitter sweet beginning for me.  Of course it is going to be superamazingawesomeballs, but it also means I am leaving my sweet puppies behind (again).  Since the last trip, we have acquired a new puppy who has stolen our hearts and shed her hair all over our clothes.  Brooklyn is the most cuddly thing with super soft, fluffy hair that you can bury your face in.  And Midas, who I'm pretty sure thought we abandoned him at my parents' house last time, will have to feel the emptiness again when we leave.  At least, that is what I imagine will happen in my head.  In reality, HH's gracious parents are dog sitting for 2 months.  They will get more walks, treats and cuddle time with these people than they usually do with us.  So for them, it's probably a vacation too, and will be slightly disappointed when we return and their 'grandparents' have to leave.

This trip starts with a game.  A game called 'how do we get on first class'.  Right now, it doesn't look good.  But that's only because we haven't had the opportunity to sweet talk the attendant into letting us rub elbows with the beautiful (read: rich) people.  We have hope!  HH has worked up some lines and we're really going to play up the honeymoon aspect.  I am hoping that is enough to get us sippin champagne at 6 in the morning when our plane takes off.  I do love a good game.

We're hittin 4 countries:  Brazil, Argentina, Bolivia and Peru.  The itinerary is rough of course, but we have an approximate path of travel.  That's how we roll.

This is a quick blog post because I haven't actually finished packing and we are headed up to LA soon. So, more to come and it's good to be on the traveling trail again!